Patience for Change

Patience is an expression of kindness. This pandemic year often highlights our relationship status with patience. If you are downhearted, despondent or even depressed this may ring hollow. These particular experiences can be wretched, like being unprepared for a mountainous climb. Your resilience and optimism in these intense and uncertain times may resemble those of a resistant friend. Yet we can change. The kindness of patience remains. It may be time to update or renew our relationship with it. Patience often nudges us forward. Encouraging us to make the decision to invent  or innovate. It encourages us to pause and consider what is needed for the next phase of our climb.

A kicking off point for change is to decide you will approach the start and end of your day in new ways. Increase whatever is needed to support patience. Let go of a habit or belief that disrupts your calm. Let go of one tired or unhealthy habit and replace it with something that supports your vitality. There are numerous simple and impactful approaches for cultivating calm. Below are a few highlights.

Cause the pause by taking five deep breaths.

This restores patience. It also supports the health of your heart. The act of awareness for breathing allows us to “just be”. A return to our original state as human “beings”. We renew natural calm in this way. Make this a practice. Lean on it when challenges arise. Regularly “cause the pause” in this way as patience comes into focus when we cultivate calm. Our thoughts support this too. In essence this means our words matter in relationship to sustaining patience. Be aware of the words we are choosing or the words we use to shape our stories. This is valuable for sustaining equilibrium as well expanding self-awareness for communication skills.  

Science tells us that technology alters our ability to sustain patience. It also increases the frequency of experiences that creates and triggers anxiety. More than ever we need to be aware of these consequences. When we speak, using our actual voices to talk with one another, we learn differently. We learn and listen in ways that allow us to actually hear one another. This positively impacts health and vitality. Some find it ironic that technology disrupts calm and patience so profoundly especially in light of the economic opportunities technology also provides. Yet this awareness invites us to dialogue together for the purposes of finding new approaches or updating existing methods for how to utilize our technology tools and its impact on our relationships. We can create new agreements that support much needed patience for one another and the links to our technology use.

Remember when it comes to patience start with yourself. A simple change-making practice for patience is to begin a writing ritual. Write about your own experiences with patience or those times when you may be lacking patience. Note how or what you are learning in order to remain present. Describe any judgements you may have about patience. What distracts your patience or ability to hear others? Listening is an investment for trust. The kind of trust that cultivates courage needed to sustain patience.

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Contact Beth Wellesley at 612.824.0454 (o) or 612.325.5104 (m). Email her at