Consider how we humans distract ourselves by creating or expressing fear. We can forget to “cause the pause” and reflect, process and re-balance to support and express wholesome care. This is our true power.
These turbulent times have caused conflict, broken trust and doubt within our own lives and our relationships. Too often these experiences pull our thinking into stagnant pools of resistance. Here we restrict trust and kindness, sending these further out of reach, causing the harshest of speculations. Creating realities filled with survival thinking also causes one-sided judgments. Sometimes we share these judgements to make them seem factual or valid, or sadly, we assign our judgements to others, unaware that we are aiming to relieve the pain of self-criticism. Unfortunately, rigidly judging others or ourselves keeps us stuck and adds to the cynicism, which is far too normalized. We distort our true care when we rationalize our judgements as a way to display our competence and control, sometimes believing it will make us “smarter” or more “strategic”. Yet caring is wise. It has no need to prove any rating or hierarchy of intelligence. Rationalizing removes our responsibility and our natural need for giving and receiving care.
Caring gives us genuine strength.
Caring prevents distortions in our thinking. When we forget to remain curious our fears find ways to limit us. We start to believe the most survivalist portions of ourselves. Survival thinking causes us to be out of balance in our decision-making and communication. The heightened concern for our collective uncertainty leads to further doubts for productive change. This can be exhausting. We may even wonder if caring is possible or believe it is more like work that will never be good enough, or something that will be deemed as “too touchy feely” by others or even ourselves. When we categorize care in these ways we avoid what we need. We diminish our care, making it of little or no value. Consider substituting “too touchy feely” with “love”. Love, like water, is what we are made of, with water being more than 90% of our body make-up. We can set boundaries and choose not to give the shadowy, smaller portions of our human nature so much attention. Include it with compassion, accepting its purpose in leading us to the return of our natural caring. Love thrives here, creating a natural home where we can be uplifted and move beyond any survival thinking.
Love remains present for each us, in all ways and always.
Love flies, flows, swirls, sprinkles, and permeates our experiences. It glimmers and glides through each crack, even within the most intense times. Love tunnels and leaps beyond the tallest walls of our own making. It travels with us through uncertainty and despair. Love is there to be a witness for the most vivid displays of our suffering whether it be experienced as an unexpected injury, aggression, dishonest storytelling, judgement, or injustice. Through it all, the protection love provides remains ready to lead us inward. It reminds us to be who we are — knowing we are creative beings who can choose the kindness of caring, more and more.
Caring supports our ability to change.
Caring makes it possible to believe we can change. We must never believe unkindness is more powerful or that it is “winning”. Remember caring is our true power. There may be times when we wish to turn off our care. Perhaps we are even successful in doing so when our frustration or pain is profound. Our suffering may be connected to a desire for something or someone else to change. This may be experienced when we want another person to understand, care more, or care enough to create the change that we believe is needed. Unfortunately, the impact and recovery of these turbulent times has exhausted people making it more difficult to empathize or to hear the care in any request for change. We must also consider how we deliver our request for a change. Some are rewarded to point out or focus on what is wrong outside themselves, and to redirect their participation in change. It is courageous to look within and ask: How can I change with my true power of caring?
Caring sustains curiosity.
When we hold onto beliefs that continue to tell stories that diminish our creative, caring vision for the future we drain our vital energy. Have you ever dearly or even desperately wanted someone else, “to get it”. Or perhaps you’ve experienced this when you want to find a solution or understand your next path in work or life? These experiences can be transformed into defining moments in our lives. Not your typical hallmark moment, yet an opportunity for deeper insight, realizing it is time to shift, refocus and decide this is your time to be the change you actually need. Look within for what you need to change. What do you need to acknowledge? Accept? Let go of? How can you be more caring with yourself as you do this? Or how can you express care with another in a new way? What will you choose that does not require someone else “to get it”? Always remember that it is enough that you “get it”. Now, where will you give your care and attention? Believe there is a way to care. Decide you will never make yourself wrong for caring. Make a new agreement to stop telling yourself, “Who cares? Oh well, I don’t care. No one else cares, why should I care?”.
The truth is many people care.
And we each need care. From this place of our true power, given our great capacity to care, we also need to forgive ourselves. We need care by way of forgiving to rebuild and grow trust for the future. Forgiveness is much like learning to play a musical instrument it requires practice and repetition. Begin with yourself. As we begin this practice we light the way for courage. The courage to forgive ourselves and others. Courage is art. Art that is filled with the presence of care. Give encouragement to yourself. It genuinely supports your ability to share encouragement. In turn, you can receive care as you are sharing it. Like an ecosystem of caring, it will keep us moving along. Moving forward with our true power.
May we care in all ways and always.
Energize your life and work with Promoting Brilliance. Contact Beth Wellesley at 612.325.5104 or firstname.lastname@example.org.